Redemption Road Mentoring provides recovery services to those who are struggling with sexual/pornography addiction and spouses dealing with betrayal trauma. As the first step in the mentoring process, both struggler and survivor are challenged with the same question: Do you want to get well? This is a personal question. Though the therapist promised to help them navigate recovery in the most positive way, he had been labeled too emotionally stuck and sent off to individual therapy with me! It was the therapist that indicated his inability to surrender and heal was holding back recovery. Was this a special case? Sadly no, too often, many betrayed spouses receive this message. A real-life connection is terrifying to someone who was not shown love as a child. In response, they seek affair partners, watch pornography or pay for sex to avoid these real-life connections. Carnes second book, Don t Call It Love, is aptly titled. Acting out is not about love or sex; instead, acting out numbs the overwhelming agony of being loved by a real-life partner. The Real Connections Between Mental Health and Sex Addiction The Keystone Center Sex is often a delicate topic, whether that be between two adults or a parent and a child. This is especially true when the issue of sex addiction comes up. Sex addiction, also known as compulsive sexual behavior, has been defined as an excessive focus on and participation in sexual activities despite negative consequences. This is the science behind the tsunami of feelings betrayed partners so often experience. Getting Attached When we pair up into long-term relationships we begin a process of bonding with one another that is a beautiful and profound intertwining of two lives. In this mysterious attachment, we actually start to physically operate as one biological organism. When the work has begun in earnest, and after real time has been put in, only then can healthy relationships stand a chance of developing for addicts. Readiness Indicators for Relationship in Recovery Through the process of recovery, addicts begin developing greater self-awareness, deeper empathy and understanding for themselves and others, greater honesty and integrity and a desire to be accountable.