I wish that when I was going through the many rounds of betrayal I experienced that I knew then what I know today. More information would have helped me feel normal and I would have been able to be kinder to myself when my emotions and behavior felt out of control. At the time I did not understand the science and theory behind the way that we pair-bond and what happens when that attachment is damaged. For example, a husband might blame his porn use on his wife s physical appearance or lower desire for sex, and a wife might start micromanaging and punishing every mistake. Both of these attitudes are unhealthy for the relationship. To avoid or correct this issue in your own marriage, establishing boundaries is crucial. This reaction caused Derek to regret coming forward with this disclosure, and he awkwardly excuses himself. These two different reactions to addiction illustrate that not all recovery is created equal. Unfortunately, most laypeople do not know what sexual addiction is much less how to deal with it if it affects them or others they know. Porn is just about taking for yourself. So when someone watches pornography, they are consuming a degradation of God s image and degrading God s image in themselves. In contrast, Colossians 3:10 says that Christians have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator. She talked to me with empathy and compassion for what I was dealing with and why I was getting this account set up. She was truly an angel, and I wish I remembered her name. My spirits were low, and this was a last-ditch effort to see if we could eliminate pornography from our lives for good. I quickly learned that I could block specific websites and receive weekly accountability emails. While it's true that usually some sexual behavior has to cease completely, the ultimate goal for most people is not to go without sex for the rest of their lives. Instead, it is to manage sexuality in manner that is safe, sane and healthy for them. This makes recovery for sex addiction more similar to compulsive overeating where the goal is to manage food appropriately, not stop eating altogether.