Darrin Ford explains in his Isomorphic Path to Intimacy that to gain intimacy as a couple it needs to begin with self-intimacy, and furthermore, partners need to practice distress tolerance and be present with the uncomfortable emotionality that is an inevitable outcome of a partner s natural state manifesting from the betrayal. This final stage can last two years or more and is the final step in becoming completely healed from sex addiction. It is during this stage that the study found sex addicts truly began to enjoy life again and felt confident in having strong, healthy sexual relationships. The Need for Lasting Change It s only natural to feel a sense of despair when you see how long it can take to heal from sex addiction. Yet, because hopefully we have established a baseline foundation in our relationship that each of our needs matter, our spouse or partner can choose to hear our need, and then check their own resources within themselves to see if they could meet that need. If they can meet it; great! Attachment grows with responsiveness. A hurt person heals amid the remorse, accountability, and responsiveness of the person who injured them. Permit yourself to stop feeling bad about not forgiving quickly enough for your partner, your therapist, or anyone else. Does being unable to surrender to the process mean you are cruel or hard-hearted? To the Partner: I recognize that the AVR formula will sound scripted and rote. I promise you he does not know how to empathize, so he must learn the skills before it becomes natural to him. I would like to tell you that this process could take three months, but unfortunately it will be 12 to 24 months before this becomes organic. This can also lead to men experiencing pornography-induced erectile dysfunction because the sexual outlets that are supposed to be acceptable and appropriate no longer elicit arousal. Someone s sexual addiction can also affect their loved ones, friends and work. The partner of a sex addict, for example, may feel disregarded, betrayed, devalued, replaced, insufficient and so on.