In this way our adult relationships mirror our relationship with our parents as children; both, when functioning well, provide us with a secure base from which we can enter our worlds with confidence. Breaking Bad If it is true that when we attach to someone healthy and functional, it feels good and provides a sense of security, grounding, safety and wholeness, then the opposite is also true. Addictive behaviors show up, sometimes early in life, according to Hatch, as a coping strategy in the form of self-medication to emotional pain. Sex addiction, in particular, creates a sense of excitement and pleasure, while simultaneously ensuring emotional distance and avoidance of true connection the kind of intimacy that can leave one open to being hurt. Once the addiction is admitted, the next step is to stop addictive behaviours. Just as an alcoholic must stop drinking alcohol, a sex addict must stop all sexual acting out behaviours. Sometimes these behaviours are obvious, like no more sex outside of marriage, but sometimes they are subtle, like flirting. It s crucial to emphasize that boundaries are not about revenge or policing but about providing structure and space for healing and rebuilding trust. Personal action items may involve seeking personal counseling for emotional healing, along with creating a plan for different scenarios based on your husband s response to recovery efforts. The fact that sexuality is a core part of the human experience explains why categorically it is different from other types of addiction such as alcohol and substance use, gambling, and shopping. Sure, there is a strong argument for genetic predisposition, but not all people are genetically predisposed to addiction. EMDR can provide a faster and more effective results than other traditional forms of therapy. By exploring the root cause of their trauma and mental health, those affected by sex addictions may understand why they use sexual behavior as a coping mechanism and work through their issues to develop healthier responses.