Readiness Indicators for Relationship in Recovery Through the process of recovery, addicts begin developing greater self-awareness, deeper empathy and understanding for themselves and others, greater honesty and integrity and a desire to be accountable. They begin healing their intimacy disorder by coming to understand their own worthiness a sense of self-worth and confidence that allows them to risk feeling vulnerable with others, the key to true intimacy and communication. In other words, this issue does not discriminate, and neither should we in our attempts to understand and/or treat it. Twelve-step programs emphasize the need to completely abstain from the identified problematic behaviors, but this philosophy is not as straightforward as it sounds when it comes to sexual behavior. I suspect most people have a vague understanding of holiness that it has something to do with God, that it probably means there are some things they should or shouldn t do. Years ago, a secular magazine published an article about Covenant Eyes, suggesting we block unholy web content. Naturally, the author used the word ironically. While the first few months of sexual recovery does require somewhat rigid boundaries, it is essential to help addicts negotiate the line between healthy sexual recovery and a healthy nurturing of self. Despite the negative consequences caused by their addiction, recovering addicts need to find ways to love and value the addiction. The Chemical Brain Our brains are made up of chemicals called neurotransmitters. These chemicals control our emotions, feelings, and behaviors. Many, unfortunately, do not realize how powerful these tiny chemicals are and how they affect our lives, behavior, and happiness. At this microscopic level, there s a constant interplay between chemical and electrical interaction. In other words, sex addicts often come from childhood environments in which they never learned how to create and maintain emotional bonds. Once they reach independence in adulthood, now free of their former rigid environment, they may struggle to self-regulate their behavior. People with traumatic backgrounds may develop trauma responses that manifest as compulsive sexual behaviors.