Each phase of the journey involves purifying, grinding down, shedding and brushing away unhealthy attitudes, beliefs and behaviors. The hero s journey brings the betrayed to a state of purity and clarity. Eckhart Tolle described the dark night of the soul as a collapse of the perceived meaning that the individual gave to their life. The almost impossible challenge we face is the fact that most addicts encounter it very young. Young people throughout the world become addicted before realizing what is happening. The age most people say they were exposed to porn ranges from 6 11 years old, some even younger. Pornography Primary Addiction Pornography Addiction Treatment Is DifficultHow would you feel if you saw a person holding a young child on the ground and injecting them with heroin? When I experienced this, in seconds, the person who I depended on and was deeply connected to went from being a source of support and companionship to being a source of pain, fear and deep uncertainty. My relationship, which had created a stable base from which I was able to operate in the world, was suddenly a rickety, wobbly mess. I know that as couples seek to heal and transform from the hurts of infidelity, full disclosure is an important part of trust-building. Often a wife learns about unfaithful behaviors through her own accidental discovery or through more intentional detective work. Either might lead her to ask many questions that sometimes her husband may or may not be willing to answer. Readers reviews3 of Your Sexually Addicted Spouse2 indicate that the book offers the spouse an understanding of her trauma, supports her needs, validates her long-term suspicions, and serves as an important pillar of her healing journey. The Spouse s Choice in the Face of Sex Addiction It can be a rough road to healing for the spouse. She feels terrible about the damage she has caused to herself and to others. She also grieves the loss of her addiction because she used it like a crutch for a long period of time. Finally, whatever she used her addiction to cover up begins to emerge. This is often some kind of early trauma. The repair stage.