Yet, because hopefully we have established a baseline foundation in our relationship that each of our needs matter, our spouse or partner can choose to hear our need, and then check their own resources within themselves to see if they could meet that need. If they can meet it; great! Attachment grows with responsiveness. Collaboration within care is important with this population. Make no mistake about it: Treating a sex addict in a vacuum is not clinically recommended. As clinicians, we have to embrace our inner case manager to keep up with the demands of this work. And remember, we play an important role in helping clients who are struggling with sexual addiction. Is willing to be forthright about STI history and willing to speak openly about a potential partner s STI history before sex Desires a relationship not out of need or desperation, but as a reasoned decision to add value to his or her life As the SLAA 12 Promises state: Love will be a committed, thoughtful decision, rather than a feeling by which we are overwhelmed. Hebrews 12:14 instructs Christians to pursue holiness because, without it no one will see the Lord. So let s see what this means, and why it s vital for the Christian struggling with porn. 1. Holiness Means Being Set Apart In the Old Testament, the Hebrew word for holy is, qadowsh, which means to be set apart. Trusting a different therapist with the details of your relationship is no small thing. It takes a lot to offer trust and to earn it. Doing so after betrayal. Is a monumental feat. You don t need a therapist to make further demands! Your partner s struggles should not be depicted as unreasonable problems. Therefore, they learn from a very young age that intimacy is dangerous in real life and that they can trust themselves only to meet their needs. In an article titled Can serial cheaters change? at PsychCentral.com, psychologist and certified sex addiction therapist Linda Hatch discussed two reasons that people cheat, both due to deep insecurities.