Meeting attendance is also a good way to develop relationships with people who are sources of accountability and support. It can be confusing to discover that there are several different 12-step groups for sex addiction, each with a somewhat different definition of sexual sobriety. This article provided some basic information about the concept of what sobriety means in sex addiction. You re hurt, there s a difference. Something broken can be fixed independently of who broke it. A hurt person heals amid the remorse, accountability, and responsiveness of the person who injured them. Permit yourself to stop feeling bad about not forgiving quickly enough for your partner, your therapist, or anyone else. It also begins the long journey of trust-building. When we lead a couple through full disclosure, the husband (or unfaithful partner), creates a time-line of his entire sexual history, starting from birth. In fiveyear increments, he builds the story of how his sexuality developed. In the early years, many husbands have rather normal experiences of sexual experimenting which contribute to the shaping of sexual identity and development. You develop an improved sense of confidence that allows you to attune to the reality that the addict s behaviors affect you but are in no way, shape, or form because of you. The addict acted out because he is an addict. He did not act out because you were not good enough or not worthy of his love. You could not cause his acting out. We can work together without shame." Replacing Shame The work done that day underscores the importance of relieving the burden of shame from the recovering sex addict. No matter how hurtful the past has been or how strong the current desire to act is, the addict needs to understand that their behavior came from an attempt to cope with unmanageable circumstances. When the American Psychiatric Association made the bold decision not to include sex addiction in the DSM-5 (the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, fifth edition), many felt the choice was controversial. Those against its inclusion argue that it does not meet sufficient diagnostic criteria and that pathologizing sexual behavior can have dangerous ramifications.