While the first few months of sexual recovery does require somewhat rigid boundaries, it is essential to help addicts negotiate the line between healthy sexual recovery and a healthy nurturing of self. Despite the negative consequences caused by their addiction, recovering addicts need to find ways to love and value the addiction. Surrendering to them or a process is not a thing. This is not war. Your betraying partner should make sure you are supported into trusting them. No demands and no isolation will do for trust-building. It s okay to begin with 5% trust and let your partner earn more trust until you reach your comfort zone. During this period, the addict gets intensive therapy, learns to take responsibility for her actions, deepens her relationships with her loved ones and learns to have a healthy relationship with sex. The growth stage. This final stage can last two years or more and is the final step in becoming completely healed from sex addiction. Though sex, gambling and food are process addictions, sex addiction can feel just like any other addiction, including substance abuse. The symptoms are similar to those who have an alcohol or drug addiction, as sex addicts often believe that their cravings are out of their control. They may return to sex, over and over again, to experience the high of it despite negative consequences. Although they may not understand the why behind the behavior, betrayed partners can gain answers that help provide clarity and make healing possible for them and the relationship. Daphne, a heartbroken partner, described her why questions as follows: What were you thinking? Was I the only one longing to share my life with you? The traumatized partner s mind is on a perpetual search to find more certainty, which can lead to more suffering, and yet it is the survival skill attempting to keep the partner safe. A partner s attempts to find safety can exacerbate her fears because her primary need is to feel safe and survive. This can create more suffering because she is in that hypervigilant state to know the truth.