In essence, the only difference between a heroin addict and a cocaine addict is the way the drug enters the system. The brain responds to information received from the eye quicker than from any other source. Visual information is processed in the limbic system in microseconds. This is why pornography is such a big deal. Treatment Stages One expert in treating patients with compulsive sexual behaviors conducted a study that included nearly 1,000 people. He examined the steps these patients took in recovery and treatment and was able to outline the general stages and how long they lasted. Each person is unique, but he found that, in general, patients moved through these stages before being in recovery. Consider the following checklist: Is in active, engaged recovery and maintains a support group of friends, recovery partner(s) and sponsor Has grown more aware of his or her feelings and is able and willing to talk about them to others Has learned how to reach out to others when difficult feelings or cravings emerge, or when issues arise in close relationships Has acknowledged any co-occurring or crossover addictions and is working on them in recovery Has acknowledged any co-occurring mental illnesses that may be present and has sought help. The addict acted out because he is an addict. He did not act out because you were not good enough or not worthy of his love. You could not cause his acting out. A secondary gain of mindfulness is that over time, you can learn to be present with the uncertainty, which is a normal response that is manifested out of betrayal trauma in a manner that was not reactive driven. As our bond grows through perhaps getting married, combining our homes, having children together, or working toward common goals, we become more and more interdependent with one another. This is not codependency I m talking about. This is healthy, normal, mutual dependency. It is what makes relationships fulfilling and sought after. If we speculate this man was around 55 years old, it would mean that he had this condition since he was 17. If you had asked him how long he d been an invalid I m sure his answer would have been all of my life! Some issues come into our lives, that while discomforting or disruptive, tend to be short-term.