They begin healing their intimacy disorder by coming to understand their own worthiness a sense of self-worth and confidence that allows them to risk feeling vulnerable with others, the key to true intimacy and communication. They develop the ability to share their truths, including feelings of pain, sadness or ambiguity. To survive that process (and understand it with your marriage improved) you must get in the trenches together. The couples we counsel are forewarned that recovery is not pretty. There is no expectation that they will navigate it in the most positive way possible. Pretending to be positive only makes matters untrustworthy and messier for longer. Without intervention, intense emotions lead to faulty thinking, which becomes a force from within that fuels anger, rage and revenge. The powerful energy inside can be like a runaway train gaining speed until it crashes. Betrayed partners learn that betrayers live in a state of secret destructive entitlement. This is why mood stabilizers, antipsychotics and therapy are often an effective treatment option for those experiencing compulsive sexual behavior. By understanding how to recognize the occurrence manic episodes, the person is better armed to stabilize their sexual addiction as well. Substance Abuse and Sex Addiction The connections between substance abuse and sex addiction, often referred to as pairing go back to the roots of the term sex addiction itself. Stopping fantasy 4. Healing despair 5. Healing shame There is hope for recovery from sexual addiction. Recovery is a process that occurs over time. Recovery and healing are not one-time events. Sexual addiction takes many years to develop and will require time for genuine health to be restored. It s much like losing weight: it takes time to gain weight and will take time to lose it. This allows the betrayal trauma response to calm as you gain the ability to be present with the natural normal distress resulting from the discovery that the addict has betrayed them. Your reactivity decreases and your distress acceptance takes the charge out of the fear equation. The secondary gain is that you begin to apply this constructively compassionate mindset to others as well.