It puts you on an emotional rack and pulls you in opposite directions until you are begging for mercy or you break and ricochet over to one of the extremes just to find some relief. I wish that when I was going through the many rounds of betrayal I experienced that I knew then what I know today. More information would have helped me feel normal and I would have been able to be kinder to myself when my emotions and behavior felt out of control. Therefore, when approaching the problem of sexual addiction, I believe it is our duty to conceptualize it knowing that sexual desire is a common denominator (at various levels) among both humans and animals. The fact that sexuality is a core part of the human experience explains why categorically it is different from other types of addiction such as alcohol and substance use, gambling, and shopping. Recovery support: Encourage your husband to seek counseling, support groups, or accountability groups. Check-ins and transparency: Ask your husband about his recovery progress. Avoiding triggers and temptations: Request that he avoid situations that may lead to temptation. Additionally, it s important to encourage your husband to explore positive hobbies during the recovery process. You acknowledged that you lied to your family about me, portraying me as a horrible spouse so that you would feel justified to continue your affair. Why did you need to go that far? These are the types of questions that every betrayed partner asks. Betrayed partners believe that they cannot heal unless they know why their beloved cheated on them. I have developed a formula that helps them to remember to do a read on the partners feelings and see things from her perspective. The formula is easy to follow because it only has 3 steps to follow. AVR-The Empathy Formula Practicing the A in AVR requires that you acknowledge the situation and accompanying pain. Visual information is processed faster than any of our other senses. Even the ingestion of heroin or cocaine is much slower in comparison. The brain responds to visual sexual images in microseconds, and the chemical reactions take place instantly and automatically. Many claim that this behavior is normal or mere entertainment because of the chemical brain s power and capacity to shut out the conscience.