There are so many unanswered questions, and each question has 10 questions behind it. Betrayers are reluctant to answer questions because they fear the answers will cause the betrayed partner more harm and therefore will cause them harm. However, withholding information is what causes harm. Betrayed partners report difficulty getting the whole truth on their own. Consider the following checklist: Is in active, engaged recovery and maintains a support group of friends, recovery partner(s) and sponsor Has grown more aware of his or her feelings and is able and willing to talk about them to others Has learned how to reach out to others when difficult feelings or cravings emerge, or when issues arise in close relationships Has acknowledged any co-occurring or crossover addictions and is working on them in recovery Has acknowledged any co-occurring mental illnesses that may be present and has sought help. Rebuilding Trust in Marriage Through Boundaries In situations where a marriage has been affected by pornography use, it s common for one person to feel responsible for the healing process, while the other doesn t take enough responsibility. This dynamic can lead to resentment, self-centeredness, and controlling behaviors. We are already made holy by the finished work of Jesus on the cross. We are already forgiven, justified, and saved. But we are not yet fully conformed to the image of Jesus. We have not yet conquered sin entirely. We have not yet been perfected and freed once and for all from temptation to look at porn. Blow number one is the gut punch of betrayal; a breathtaking breach in trust that changes your relationship in permanent ways. Blow number two is the shocking realization that your partner has been extravagantly and expertly lying and manipulating reality in order to cover up their behaviors. These blows smash into your heart and in an instant plunge you into a whole new world. If you are struggling to control your impulses when it comes to sexual behaviors, you may need to get professional help. The good news about sex addiction treatment is that many experts believe that you can recover from it. The bad news is that the process that leads to true recovery can take several years of dedicated work.