You can make this process smoother if you acknowledge his attempts no matter how scripted or feeble. All humans need positive reinforcement, especially when they are working on relational repair. In the new book Help.Them.Heal, I am going to share situations which I am sure you will find some parallels or pieces to relate to as you examine your own relationship. Why can t I change who I am present? Why doesn t treatment work for me? Is there any change possible for me in the future? Existing Client The feeling expressed in this letter is familiar to what I am seeing in my clinical practice day in and day out when dealing with sex and porn addiction. Pornography eats away at the inner soul. Addicts need to identify their personal rituals so that they can intercept the addictive cycle before they act out. Rituals could include things like fantasizing about having sex with a co-worker, imagining what your neighbour looks like without clothes on, arranging your schedule for some alone time with your computer so you can log in to porn sites uninterrupted. Submitted by Bill Herring The concept of "sobriety" for sex addicts can be confusing for many people. As an Atlanta counselor specializing in problematic sexual behavior patterns such as chronic pornography use, repeated acts of cheating and infidelity, risky sexual behavior and flat-out sex and porn addiction, I decided to write this brief article to sort out some of the basic concepts for understanding this tricky topic. We utilize both content and insights from a sermon series on 10 Questions Jesus Asked presented by Pastor Jeff Manion of Ada Bible Church in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Our Conditions We are told Jesus saw an invalid lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time 38 years. If we speculate this man was around 55 years old, it would mean that he had this condition since he was 17. As our bond grows through perhaps getting married, combining our homes, having children together, or working toward common goals, we become more and more interdependent with one another. This is not codependency I m talking about. This is healthy, normal, mutual dependency. It is what makes relationships fulfilling and sought after.