In another six-month period, the sex addict goes through a type of grief. She feels terrible about the damage she has caused to herself and to others. She also grieves the loss of her addiction because she used it like a crutch for a long period of time. Finally, whatever she used her addiction to cover up begins to emerge. Our Conditions We are told Jesus saw an invalid lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time 38 years. If we speculate this man was around 55 years old, it would mean that he had this condition since he was 17. If you had asked him how long he d been an invalid I m sure his answer would have been all of my life! Between the cute stuffed animals was an ugly, humpbacked dragon with only one eye. Once, as I walked past, I saw some patients kicking this creature around and calling it names. I stopped and asked why they were abusing this ugly, but harmless, dragon. One patient replied, "He's green and ugly and reminds me of my addiction. What must be done when partners are unable to move past the emotional pain. Why are these points important? Because so many betrayed partners are wounded and longing for relief without proper care, validation, or support. In fact, some time ago, I was inspired to write about this because a suffering spouse reached out to me. The symptoms are similar to those who have an alcohol or drug addiction, as sex addicts often believe that their cravings are out of their control. They may return to sex, over and over again, to experience the high of it despite negative consequences. Just like with other addictions, they may escalate their behavior over time. First, by understanding that the fantasies are created for a reason: they provide emotional escape and reduce stress. If an addict is to break free from fantasizing, they must uncover the reasons why they have to "escape." 4. Healing despair Most sex addicts feel they are beyond redemption, that their sexual behaviour is so appalling that forgiveness is impossible.