My relationship, which had created a stable base from which I was able to operate in the world, was suddenly a rickety, wobbly mess. Here is what I wished I had known then about what was happening to me. This is the science behind the tsunami of feelings betrayed partners so often experience. Getting Attached When we pair up into long-term relationships we begin a process of bonding with one another that is a beautiful and profound intertwining of two lives. Doing the right thing does not mean that it doesn t hurt, but with adequate support and love, hurt can lead to great transformation. It has been our research experience that virtually all of the couples we have worked with who go through disclosure will not only survive but thrive as a result. It is our prayer for all of you who are stuck because truth has not been completely shared, that God will lead you to professionals who can support your full-disclosure. AVR-The Empathy Formula Practicing the A in AVR requires that you acknowledge the situation and accompanying pain. At first it can seem counterintuitive to bring up the damage your addiction has caused her. She wants to know that you remember her pain is a result of your actions. It assures her that you have not forgotten, nor are you in denial. After all, how do you draw the line between a healthy relationship with sex and compulsive sexual behaviors? Proponents of its inclusion, however, argue that without a formal categorization system people may not receive the help they need. For example, will insurance cover health care treatment for sex addiction if it is not considered a mental health disorder? Both of these attitudes are unhealthy for the relationship. To avoid or correct this issue in your own marriage, establishing boundaries is crucial. Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend define boundaries as personal property lines that separate what s your responsibility (feelings, attitudes, choices, and behaviors) from what s your spouse s responsibility. Among God s people, the Levites in particular were holy because God set them apart to serve as priests. In the New Testament, 1 Peter 2:9 applies this idea of a holy people to us as believers in Jesus. We ve been set apart and belong to God in a special way. Furthermore, we were set apart to proclaim the praises of the one who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.