" Replacing Shame The work done that day underscores the importance of relieving the burden of shame from the recovering sex addict. No matter how hurtful the past has been or how strong the current desire to act is, the addict needs to understand that their behavior came from an attempt to cope with unmanageable circumstances. This could be the diagnosis of a sexually transmitted disease, an arrest, attempting suicide or anything else that causes the addict to commit to change. The shock stage. For the next six to eight months, the addict has admitted to the problem but is in shock and disbelief. She feels angry and hopeless but ultimately relieved that she has finally admitted to having an addiction to sexual behaviors. He contended there is no hope to survive if suffering is perceived as useless. Finding purpose transforms suffering into a challenge. Frankl believed that in the worst of circumstances, there are two choices: 1) to assume that we cannot change what happens to us, leaving our only option to be a prisoner of our circumstance or 2) to accept that we cannot change what happened to us but that we can change our attitude toward it. As you read this blog, ask yourself if just for the morning, afternoon or evening, you might consider staying in the moment and creating a mindset that is reassuring and reminds you that you can choose to focus on the events of the day that create certainty: the blue sky, your baby s breath, the rhythm of your walk, your beautiful home what ever is safe and true for the moment. The simple answer is that relapse is defined as any sexual activity that falls outside of pre-determined boundaries. Sometimes people in 12-step recovery refer to acts that would constitute a relapse as "bottom-line behaviors". In addition to bottom lines , two other "lines" are helpful to understand. For those facing pornography addiction or betrayal trauma, even though the condition may not be outwardly visible to those around them, the effects can be devastating to them individually as well as for those around them. When Jesus asks us if we want to get well what is our response? I m sure, like the man at the pool of Bethesda, our response will be Absolutely!