The simple answer is that relapse is defined as any sexual activity that falls outside of pre-determined boundaries. Sometimes people in 12-step recovery refer to acts that would constitute a relapse as "bottom-line behaviors". In addition to bottom lines , two other "lines" are helpful to understand. We utilize both content and insights from a sermon series on 10 Questions Jesus Asked presented by Pastor Jeff Manion of Ada Bible Church in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Our Conditions We are told Jesus saw an invalid lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time 38 years. If we speculate this man was around 55 years old, it would mean that he had this condition since he was 17. Once, as I walked past, I saw some patients kicking this creature around and calling it names. I stopped and asked why they were abusing this ugly, but harmless, dragon. One patient replied, "He's green and ugly and reminds me of my addiction. I'm kicking him around because that is how I feel about my addiction. In his book Contrary to Love, Patrick Carnes said his research indicated that 97% of individuals who were addicted to sex had been emotionally abused as children. These individuals were raised in unhealthy or dysfunctional homes with parents who did not give them the care essential to their healthy growth and development. Sexual addiction takes many years to develop and will require time for genuine health to be restored. It s much like losing weight: it takes time to gain weight and will take time to lose it. Many adjustments will need to be made in order to overcome sexual addiction. Changes include giving up sexual fantasizing and flirting, changes in the way one dresses, getting Internet filters, joining support groups and entering therapy. Therapy with a counselor who has undergone rigorous training to earn the designation of Certified Sex Addiction Therapist3 (CSAT) status. The realization that it takes time and allegiance to the program and to God, (aka the Higher Power in 12-step groups) in order to achieve sobriety. He must understand that attaining and maintaining sobriety involves a daily commitment.