Often, because of mistaken understandings within our family of origin about needs and how to navigate needs within relationship, we have developed a way of being along a continuum. We may have learned to be needless and wantless (self-sufficient), or that your needs don t matter, or we may have learned to be somewhat needy (a passive requiring of others to do for me what perhaps I could sometimes take care of myself learned helplessness). As an Atlanta counselor specializing in problematic sexual behavior patterns such as chronic pornography use, repeated acts of cheating and infidelity, risky sexual behavior and flat-out sex and porn addiction, I decided to write this brief article to sort out some of the basic concepts for understanding this tricky topic. Betrayal Trauma Recovery for the Unfaithful Partner: How To Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair Recognize That Your Partner s Trust Will Not Come Easy After Infidelity To trust right now is an act of bravery. After betrayal, many couples feel so unsafe that they disconnect from loved ones and disappear from the life they knew together. I know that as couples seek to heal and transform from the hurts of infidelity, full disclosure is an important part of trust-building. Often a wife learns about unfaithful behaviors through her own accidental discovery or through more intentional detective work. Either might lead her to ask many questions that sometimes her husband may or may not be willing to answer. Stop sinning or something worse may happen to you. The Outer & Inner Condition The conditions we are dealing with in our lives may not be paralysis but they can be equally debilitating and threatening. For those facing pornography addiction or betrayal trauma, even though the condition may not be outwardly visible to those around them, the effects can be devastating to them individually as well as for those around them. Table of Contents The Neuroscience Behind Sex Addiction Neuroscience shows us that there is little difference in the physical or chemical changes in the pleasure and control centers of the brain, whether the addiction is from a chemical or an experience. Neurosurgeon Dr. Donald L. Hilton Jr. states, It is imperative that we treat pornography and sexual addiction with the respect accorded any drug addiction, for as we shall see, that is precisely what it is.