Each person is unique, but he found that, in general, patients moved through these stages before being in recovery. The developing stage. This first stage can take up to two years. During this time, problems caused by the sex addiction grow. The patient begins to realize that she has a problem and may even reach out for help, but can t commit. indicates we still have to dig one more level down to discover what our need is. Neither of those first phrases point to our actual need. In fact, our partner may interpret the second phrase as controlling. For example, one we often hear: I need you to go group while still being good information for us by assisting us on finding the deeper need, is not actually the need. Holiness Means Being Set Apart In the Old Testament, the Hebrew word for holy is, qadowsh, which means to be set apart. God s chosen people were holy because God had set them apart from the other nations. Among God s people, the Levites in particular were holy because God set them apart to serve as priests. Figuring out which side of the line is right for a particular person can depend on many factors, making this a topic worth discussing with trusted resources of support and guidance. Either way, during an initial period of sexual abstinence it's best to keep masturbation off limits just like any other form of sexual expression. Truthful answers allow for more of the puzzle pieces to take shape. However, trust is only really built from someone who is willing to offer the truth, the whole truth, without being asked. The problem with questioning is that a betrayed woman may wonder if she has not asked just the right question, or enough questions, so her mind will continue to obsess about what she has missed. As you read this blog, ask yourself if just for the morning, afternoon or evening, you might consider staying in the moment and creating a mindset that is reassuring and reminds you that you can choose to focus on the events of the day that create certainty: the blue sky, your baby s breath, the rhythm of your walk, your beautiful home what ever is safe and true for the moment.