Or, more broadly speaking, this can be defined as: Dependence on the needs of or control by another.1 However, while in most addictions the assumption can be made that the partners are co-dependent, or at least the addict s partner had co-dependent behaviors, this is not necessarily so in the case of sex addiction. Redemption Road Mentoring provides recovery services to those who are struggling with sexual/pornography addiction and spouses dealing with betrayal trauma. As the first step in the mentoring process, both struggler and survivor are challenged with the same question: Do you want to get well? This is a personal question. To survive that process (and understand it with your marriage improved) you must get in the trenches together. The couples we counsel are forewarned that recovery is not pretty. There is no expectation that they will navigate it in the most positive way possible. Pretending to be positive only makes matters untrustworthy and messier for longer. Letting go creates space to build inner strength and accept love back into their hearts. Forgiveness Healing of the mind, heart and soul can happen regardless of the magnitude of the deception. But in the absence of a healing/recovery process, the betrayed partner s anger intensifies and can cause them to be further traumatized by sifting through emails, texts and conversations, asking for every minute detail of the affair. Addictive behaviors show up, sometimes early in life, according to Hatch, as a coping strategy in the form of self-medication to emotional pain. Sex addiction, in particular, creates a sense of excitement and pleasure, while simultaneously ensuring emotional distance and avoidance of true connection the kind of intimacy that can leave one open to being hurt. Changes include giving up sexual fantasizing and flirting, changes in the way one dresses, getting Internet filters, joining support groups and entering therapy. Honesty is the foundation to recovery for any addict, and it's no different for the sexual addict. Healing does not occur if secrets are kept.