Addicts may feel hopeless and powerless in their situation, believing they have no control over their sexual thoughts and actions. Therefore, they get stuck in a loop of negative behaviors. Patrick Carnes calls this The Offending Cycle . As a result, antidepressants and cognitive behavioral therapy are a common treatment option for sex addiction. This is a personal question. To the one struggling, it relates to their addiction and behaviors. The survivor tends to focus on wanting their spouse s addiction and behavior cured but realizes that is out of their control. For them, the question then goes to their need to heal and move forward from the wounds and trauma of betrayal. Being lied to in such a profound manner by your partner, lover, sweetheart and beloved feels wholly abnormal. For many betrayed partners, there is no precedent for the experience. Answering the why question The why question is what betrayed partners find themselves coming back to over and over again. And intimacy, according to Linda Hatch, Ph.D., sex addiction expert and therapist, is the ability to be real with another person. This might seem like a simple thing, but any addict, not just those who experience sexual compulsion, is a person who struggles with being real, (i.e., honest, available and truly vulnerable) with another person. But it s also a process as the Christian learns to rely on God in the midst of their own weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9), and experiencing God s grace as we confess our sins to one another (James 5:16, Galatians 6:2). 3. Holiness Means Restoring God s Image Pornography is unholy because it distorts the image of God in both the viewer and the people being viewed. We can never underestimate the power of prayer in the healing of addictions. The five components to treatment According to Mark Laaser,1 author and recovering sex addict, there are five components to treatment and recovery for sexual addiction. They are: Stopping sexual behaviours Stopping rituals Stopping fantasy Healing despair Healing shame.