However, trust is only really built from someone who is willing to offer the truth, the whole truth, without being asked. The problem with questioning is that a betrayed woman may wonder if she has not asked just the right question, or enough questions, so her mind will continue to obsess about what she has missed. When we attach to someone who is perhaps say, sexually addicted, it can affect our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health in teeth rattling ways. Instead of grounding us, it puts us in free fall. Instead of security we experience fear. Because our partner has caused us such deep pain, they now feel like a threat to our well-being rather than a source of comfort and rest. Trust rebuilding takes time and should be based on his behaviors and commitment to change. Setting boundaries is a starting point, and as your marriage progresses and trust is rebuilt, these boundaries can evolve. Regular discussions with your husband and a counselor are encouraged to ensure the boundaries remain effective. One takes place at the pool of Bethesda and is recorded in the Gospel of John, Chapter 5. Here, we are told of Jesus asking a paralytic, Do you want to get well? We utilize both content and insights from a sermon series on 10 Questions Jesus Asked presented by Pastor Jeff Manion of Ada Bible Church in Grand Rapids, Michigan. So sex addiction recovery is about far more than one-day-at-a-time abstinence; it s real work we do on who we are, how we were formed and how we communicate with others. When the work has begun in earnest, and after real time has been put in, only then can healthy relationships stand a chance of developing for addicts. This takes time sometimes lots of time; If restoration of the marriage is to occur, the wife must firmly establish her boundaries, engage in the self-care of counseling and support, and be willing, at some time in the future, to be called to forgive him. We are called by God to forgive and forgiveness is one part of the restoration of the marriage.