It includes a deep sense of serenity and a consistent ability to "live life on life's terms", often with deep connections with other people and a sense of meaning in daily life. The Role of An Initial Period of Abstinence In Sex Addiction Recovery Even though refraining from all sex is usually not a sex addict's ultimate goal, an initial period of sexual abstinence (such as 90 days) can be a good idea. Twelve-step programs emphasize the need to completely abstain from the identified problematic behaviors, but this philosophy is not as straightforward as it sounds when it comes to sexual behavior. Instead of educating people about healthier sexuality, some recovery movements emphasize complete abstinence of sexual behavior, outside of marriage and committed relationships, which results in extreme pressure and self-imposed guilt and shame. The Need for Lasting Change It s only natural to feel a sense of despair when you see how long it can take to heal from sex addiction. You should also feel hope, though. The study found that patients really did recover after this long period of time. It takes so long because sex addiction is complicated and there are underlying reasons why you develop these compulsions. Redemption Road Mentoring provides recovery services to those who are struggling with sexual/pornography addiction and spouses dealing with betrayal trauma. As the first step in the mentoring process, both struggler and survivor are challenged with the same question: Do you want to get well? This is a personal question. This is the most important stage recognizing that what we are feeling is likely less about them and who they are and what they are doing and more about a need that we have. So, we identify: I probably have a need . Step 2: Second, we learn to articulate our need in a hearable way. There are two parts to communication: 1) saying it in a hearable way, and 2) being in a posture to receive. I feel like a weight has been lifted and I don t have the daily mental struggle of it all. Full Transparency Everyone deserves a marriage that has full transparency. With lots of work, support, and the help of tools like Covenant Eyes, I can honestly say that long-term recovery is possible for anyone who truly wants it.