Recovering sex addicts should see their addiction as a part of themselves that they should value, not disparage. If they respond to their addictive longings by calling someone in recovery, going to a meeting, etc., then the call of the addict has served its purpose and deserves appreciation. This replaces shameful behavior with self-nurturing and healthy attachment. The discovery of infidelity, deception and trickery causes a shattering of all that defined the betrayed partner s life. Their accomplishments, activities and everything they considered important feels like they have been invalidated. At the bottom of the abyss, however, is salvation. The blackest moment is the moment where transformation begins. This is the most important stage recognizing that what we are feeling is likely less about them and who they are and what they are doing and more about a need that we have. So, we identify: I probably have a need . Step 2: Second, we learn to articulate our need in a hearable way. There are two parts to communication: 1) saying it in a hearable way, and 2) being in a posture to receive. When Jesus instructs him to stop sinning or something worse may happen, Jesus is telling him that, while the outer circumstances of his condition have been healed, the inner condition is still to be addressed. As with the paralytic, the conditions we deal with actually consist of two problems. With a pornography/sexual addiction, the outer problem is our acting out behaviors. Trauma is a common thread among people affected by a variety of addiction issues. According to a study conducted by sex addiction researcher Patrick Carnes, Ph.D., a significant amount of people with sex addiction experienced emotional abuse (97%), sexual abuse (81%) or physical abuse (72%) in childhood. Among God s people, the Levites in particular were holy because God set them apart to serve as priests. In the New Testament, 1 Peter 2:9 applies this idea of a holy people to us as believers in Jesus. We ve been set apart and belong to God in a special way. Furthermore, we were set apart to proclaim the praises of the one who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.