I only knew that discovering sexual betrayal in my relationship changed me overnight. Every betrayed partner is dealt two blows at once when they discover their spouse s sexual behavior. Blow number one is the gut punch of betrayal; a breathtaking breach in trust that changes your relationship in permanent ways. Figuring out which side of the line is right for a particular person can depend on many factors, making this a topic worth discussing with trusted resources of support and guidance. Either way, during an initial period of sexual abstinence it's best to keep masturbation off limits just like any other form of sexual expression. By exploring the root cause of their trauma and mental health, those affected by sex addictions may understand why they use sexual behavior as a coping mechanism and work through their issues to develop healthier responses. Self-Worth and Depression Sexual addiction and depression often go hand in hand. " Replacing Shame The work done that day underscores the importance of relieving the burden of shame from the recovering sex addict. No matter how hurtful the past has been or how strong the current desire to act is, the addict needs to understand that their behavior came from an attempt to cope with unmanageable circumstances. For example, a husband might blame his porn use on his wife s physical appearance or lower desire for sex, and a wife might start micromanaging and punishing every mistake. Both of these attitudes are unhealthy for the relationship. To avoid or correct this issue in your own marriage, establishing boundaries is crucial. , honest, available and truly vulnerable) with another person. According to Hatch, these intimacy disorders develop in addicts as a result of early experiences in their [families] of origin that failed to produce a secure attachment to their caregivers. These may take the form of neglect, abuse, abandonment or the absence of an appropriately nurturing caregiver.