We all want this special someone to attach to and intermingle our lives with. In fact, attachment researchers talk about the paradox of attachment saying, The more effectively dependent people are on one another, the more independent and daring they become, (Attached). So the better our relationships are in terms of providing us with a sense of, I can depend on you the more we are able to move fully into the rest of our lives, face insecurity and take risks. At first it can seem counterintuitive to bring up the damage your addiction has caused her. She wants to know that you remember her pain is a result of your actions. It assures her that you have not forgotten, nor are you in denial. It makes sense to me that looking at our Memorial Day picnic pictures causes you great pain Validation of Her Feelings Using the Five Primary Feelings It can be difficult to ascertain how she is feeling, so it is helpful to focus on her primary feeling (and see if you got it right). These ways of being limit the capacity for intimate and safe connection within relationship. When we were infants, we were current and congruent with our physical and emotional needs and were able - in present time - to express those needs to our caregivers. How those expressions of need were responded to set the foundation of our attachment style. An example might be a toothache that doesn t allow you to sleep, concentrate, or even go about your normal routine. But a visit to the dentist will most often make it just a memory after a few short weeks or even days. However, conditions don t want to go away despite our best efforts and intentions they seem to camp out in our lives, building and creating more and more disruption and pain not just to ourselves but often to those around us. KeyStone Center ECU understands the importance of treating individuals with co-occurring disorders and takes this into consideration when developing an individualized treatment plan. Recovery Is Possible Understanding the connections between mental health and sex addiction is crucial to developing a holistic and empathetic approach to treatment. I quickly learned that I could block specific websites and receive weekly accountability emails. For the first time in a long time, I felt some aspect of peace and steadiness coming back into my life. And my husband felt it too. Each week, month, and year that passed made it easier to live a life free from pornography.