An example might be a toothache that doesn t allow you to sleep, concentrate, or even go about your normal routine. But a visit to the dentist will most often make it just a memory after a few short weeks or even days. However, conditions don t want to go away despite our best efforts and intentions they seem to camp out in our lives, building and creating more and more disruption and pain not just to ourselves but often to those around us. You are the one who has the power to help them regain trust and want to forgive. Your remorse and commitment to actively restore love and trust in your relationship will propel you both forward as a unit. The Betrayal Trauma Recovery Process is for Healing, Not Fixing If you are the hurt partner: Please understand that therapy is not about the business of fixing you. The children do not have immunity to it, and the young children are the ones being exposed at a shockingly high rate. The Chemical Brain Our brains are made up of chemicals called neurotransmitters. These chemicals control our emotions, feelings, and behaviors. Many, unfortunately, do not realize how powerful these tiny chemicals are and how they affect our lives, behavior, and happiness. I suspect most people have a vague understanding of holiness that it has something to do with God, that it probably means there are some things they should or shouldn t do. Years ago, a secular magazine published an article about Covenant Eyes, suggesting we block unholy web content. Naturally, the author used the word ironically. We understood that he was not going away, but would remain in us as a guide and observer. It was our job to listen and respond to him appropriately. Our addict, who longed for acknowledgement and help, had been angry about being ignored and shut out, and had found sex as a means for attention and validation. Checking in as often as necessary with a Sponsor (a sex addict who is sober, is a member of SAA, and continues to work his program in order to remain sober). Therapy with a counselor who has undergone rigorous training to earn the designation of Certified Sex Addiction Therapist3 (CSAT) status. The realization that it takes time and allegiance to the program and to God, (aka the Higher Power in 12-step groups) in order to achieve sobriety.