People often avoid even discussing sex and sexual problems, but this same approach should not be used when clinically treating problems in sexual behavior. I have mistakenly referred past sex addict clients to support groups in which they were shamed for having sexual thoughts and masturbating. This triggered relapse behavior and a general clinical regression. Reassurance That You Have Changed, and Your Top Priority Is to Help Her Heal It will be necessary to share how you are changing and what you are working on to focus on your recovery and her healing (You do not want to be cocky or arrogant. Instead, you want to gently remind her that you will work diligently to build back her trust in you). In other words, it can take over the human will and influence how a person thinks, feels, and acts. This state is known as addiction. It is a state where the physical-chemical brain demands or compels one towards a specific behavior regardless of what the mind or conscience says. There appears to be something inherent in the human family that feels it is wrong to view the private sexual acts of others. The Spouse s Choice in the Face of Sex Addiction It can be a rough road to healing for the spouse. Feelings of confusion, betrayal, abandonment, and even anger and hate, are normal responses under these circumstances. At this point, the spouse faces a choice in her response to her partner s addiction and actions. Your spouse hears you, considers your request and is aware that they have a need to stay a while longer as this is their work event and it s expected that they remain. But because your need matters to them, they might suggest an alternative I can t leave just yet, but how about in an hour and a half. One of the most pressing and worrisome amid betrayal trauma recovery is, Who will help me heal? A woman & a man smiling, looking at each other admirably. Representing the feeling partners in the United States can feel, after finding the right guidance to handle betrayal trauma recovery. Schedule a free consultation today.