Your remorse and commitment to actively restore love and trust in your relationship will propel you both forward as a unit. The Betrayal Trauma Recovery Process is for Healing, Not Fixing If you are the hurt partner: Please understand that therapy is not about the business of fixing you. This is not the goal of therapy. The shock is debilitating for betrayed partners and can last for years. Their lives are broken to pieces, and they are overwhelmed with shame, often thinking, How could I be so stupid not to realize what was happening right under my nose? I m such a fool for trusting him/her. They feel they are going crazy. The major pornography addiction treatment dilemma with this drug is that it is legal and accessed in almost every home free of charge 365 days a year, 24 hours a day. Simply put, it is one click away. The chemical cocktail that is released in the brain is of the most profound and addicting nature. The almost impossible challenge we face is the fact that most addicts encounter it very young. I wish that when I was going through the many rounds of betrayal I experienced that I knew then what I know today. More information would have helped me feel normal and I would have been able to be kinder to myself when my emotions and behavior felt out of control. At the time I did not understand the science and theory behind the way that we pair-bond and what happens when that attachment is damaged. If you manage a period of sexual abstinence correctly you will learn some important lessons about yourself that will help you for the rest of your life, especially if you combine it with other constructive actions. There are many people who can go 90 days without sex with relative ease. But if you are a person whose sexual behaviors have taken you where you don't want to go time and again then you may find a 90 day period of sexual abstinence to be a serious challenge. This final stage can last two years or more and is the final step in becoming completely healed from sex addiction. It is during this stage that the study found sex addicts truly began to enjoy life again and felt confident in having strong, healthy sexual relationships. The Need for Lasting Change It s only natural to feel a sense of despair when you see how long it can take to heal from sex addiction.