Carnes aptly refers to this as the hijacked brain. Once the brain is hijacked, the downward spiral of craving more and more dopamine affects higher-level thinking and reasoning. Let the healing begin Healing for the betrayed partner begins with a formal disclosure process, ideally guided by certified sex addiction therapists. Step 5: Finally, if after being proactive in these ways, that need still remains, can we surrender that need? Can we see if God might work in that space and bring about something we could not? Or teach us something about ourselves that we may have needed to know? Putting It Together Let s walk it through with an example: Let s say you are at your spouse s work event on a Friday evening. Proponents of its inclusion, however, argue that without a formal categorization system people may not receive the help they need. For example, will insurance cover health care treatment for sex addiction if it is not considered a mental health disorder? While both sides make fair arguments, we cannot deny the connections between mental health and sex addiction. This takes time sometimes lots of time; If restoration of the marriage is to occur, the wife must firmly establish her boundaries, engage in the self-care of counseling and support, and be willing, at some time in the future, to be called to forgive him. We are called by God to forgive and forgiveness is one part of the restoration of the marriage. I firmly believe that true recovery is not even remotely possible until all the cards are face up on the table. Secrecy fuels this addiction. Our therapist once mentioned the idea that it is better to be 100% honest and have integrity even if it means risking the shame and possibility of losing your comfort zone. And pornography use can also complicate one s ability to become aroused. The degrading and other unrealistic themes depicted in pornography create highly distorted expectations of what should occur within the context of real-life sexual relationships, thus rendering the addict incapable of arousal in those situations.