Sex addicts often drag perfectionism, shame, and self-hatred into their sexual decision making process, which is what drove the addictive behaviors in the first place. While the first few months of sexual recovery does require somewhat rigid boundaries, it is essential to help addicts negotiate the line between healthy sexual recovery and a healthy nurturing of self. This takes time sometimes lots of time; If restoration of the marriage is to occur, the wife must firmly establish her boundaries, engage in the self-care of counseling and support, and be willing, at some time in the future, to be called to forgive him. We are called by God to forgive and forgiveness is one part of the restoration of the marriage. He examined the steps these patients took in recovery and treatment and was able to outline the general stages and how long they lasted. Each person is unique, but he found that, in general, patients moved through these stages before being in recovery. The developing stage. This first stage can take up to two years. Thus, the elevated mood associated with addictions, albeit temporary, is often viewed as the elixir for troubling life circumstances and unwelcomed thoughts. The addict is vigorously chasing this elevated mood, but the behavior of engaging in the addiction is often followed by intense feelings of guilt and shame. It means confessing your struggles to another person (Hebrews 3:13, James 5:16). It could include downloading accountability software, or removing your access to forms of media that could be triggering (Matthew 5:29-30). Holiness requires an active, ongoing battle against sin (Galatians 5:16-17). Christians should not expect instant perfection but rather steady progress. Check-ins and transparency: Ask your husband about his recovery progress. Avoiding triggers and temptations: Request that he avoid situations that may lead to temptation. Additionally, it s important to encourage your husband to explore positive hobbies during the recovery process. Accountability Boundaries Accountability boundaries aim to hold your husband responsible for his actions and help build trust.