Holiness Means Restoring God s Image Pornography is unholy because it distorts the image of God in both the viewer and the people being viewed. How exactly? Porn strips the relational and communal aspects away from sexuality. It s no longer about two people knowing each other and being known intimately within the boundaries and protections that God designed. As you read this blog, ask yourself if just for the morning, afternoon or evening, you might consider staying in the moment and creating a mindset that is reassuring and reminds you that you can choose to focus on the events of the day that create certainty: the blue sky, your baby s breath, the rhythm of your walk, your beautiful home what ever is safe and true for the moment. By Rebecca Deckers What did you learn about having needs when you were young? Two women taking over coffee What did you learn about having needs when you were young? In our work with couples and individuals, we talk a lot about needs. Often, because of mistaken understandings within our family of origin about needs and how to navigate needs within relationship, we have developed a way of being along a continuum. I m sure, like the man at the pool of Bethesda, our response will be Absolutely! Please take this away from me! We d like more than anything to stop dealing with the circumstances and consequences of this condition the shame, hurt, guilt, deceit, betrayal, and more. But Jesus didn t ask him if he wanted to BE well instead the question was if he wanted to GET well. Release and restoration After discovering a beloved s infidelity and deception, and after accepting their own call to action, the betrayed partner turns inward and begins their own hero s journey. This journey requires courage, loyalty and temperance. Each phase of the journey involves purifying, grinding down, shedding and brushing away unhealthy attitudes, beliefs and behaviors. Recovery support: Encourage him to seek counseling or join a support group. Check-ins and transparency: Discuss his recovery progress and triggers. It s crucial to emphasize that boundaries are not about revenge or policing but about providing structure and space for healing and rebuilding trust. Personal action items may involve seeking personal counseling for emotional healing, along with creating a plan for different scenarios based on your husband s response to recovery efforts.