Instead, you want to gently remind her that you will work diligently to build back her trust in you). I hate that I have ruined some important holidays for you, but I want to reassure you that I am working a good recovery program and will work on creating new memories that you can trust. Empathy is putting yourself in her place. From this perspective masturbation may need to be considered off-limits for many sex addicts. For other people, however, non-compulsive masturbation can actually aid the biological urge for sexual release, provide a venue for self-nurturance and contribute to an overall sense of sexual health. Figuring out which side of the line is right for a particular person can depend on many factors, making this a topic worth discussing with trusted resources of support and guidance. So how does a sex addict stop fantasizing? First, by understanding that the fantasies are created for a reason: they provide emotional escape and reduce stress. If an addict is to break free from fantasizing, they must uncover the reasons why they have to "escape." 4. Healing despair Most sex addicts feel they are beyond redemption, that their sexual behaviour is so appalling that forgiveness is impossible. Providing clinical treatment for sex addicts involves first conducting a thorough assessment of the identified circumstances. You must also gather an extensive social history with relevant collateral contacts. Remember, the addict s point of view is not the only one; family members, friends and other treating professionals may have relevant data to offer. This is why pornography is such a big deal. Visual information is processed faster than any of our other senses. Even the ingestion of heroin or cocaine is much slower in comparison. The brain responds to visual sexual images in microseconds, and the chemical reactions take place instantly and automatically. When we were infants, we were current and congruent with our physical and emotional needs and were able - in present time - to express those needs to our caregivers. How those expressions of need were responded to set the foundation of our attachment style. And the type of responsiveness we received greatly impacted our ability to validate our own needs and set our expectation for whether or not our needs would matter to others.