Understand That Forgiveness Is Not A Thing You Give To Each Other When the offender demonstrates that he understands and is sincerely disturbed by the harm he has caused you, and when he works to make repairs, you [the hurt partner] may be more motivated to release your resentment and invite him back into your life. A formal disclosure process led by a certified sex addiction therapist is the best way to get the information necessary so that the betrayed partner can make the most important decision of their life: Will they stay in the relationship or leave? Partners who continue to be consumed with seeking information are tortured not by the behavior but by their unrelenting quest to uncover all of the lies. When anxiety and trauma are severe enough, the sexual behavior can become all-consuming. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a common treatment for those with a sex addiction rooted in trauma. EMDR is a trauma-focused therapy that helps patients identify and process their trauma. Often, trauma gets stored in the right side of the brain (the emotional side). This cycle of control and failure to control is a classic characteristic of addiction. Help and support can be found in many ways. Recovery support can include support groups, like Sex Addicts Anonymous, recovery sponsors, accountability partners, in- or outpatient treatment programs, counselling, medical help and Internet filters. It puts you on an emotional rack and pulls you in opposite directions until you are begging for mercy or you break and ricochet over to one of the extremes just to find some relief. I wish that when I was going through the many rounds of betrayal I experienced that I knew then what I know today. More information would have helped me feel normal and I would have been able to be kinder to myself when my emotions and behavior felt out of control. Any one or combination of these traits is often seen in cases of active sexual addiction. Sexual addiction is considered a process or behavioral addiction. Process addictions, which also include excessive shopping and gambling, are marked by a strong desire to engage in behaviors despite the potentially negative consequences.