However, conditions don t want to go away despite our best efforts and intentions they seem to camp out in our lives, building and creating more and more disruption and pain not just to ourselves but often to those around us. The man at the pool had been in this condition for as long as he can remember. It was the therapist that indicated his inability to surrender and heal was holding back recovery. Was this a special case? Sadly no, too often, many betrayed spouses receive this message. The additional emotional burden results in further confusion and harm. Both are unnecessary and further delay the betrayal trauma recovery the couple needs. We acknowledged that in our active addiction that we hadn't ever responded to his call in ways that respected him. Each of us told him that in recovery we were committed to loving and appreciating him. We understood that he was not going away, but would remain in us as a guide and observer. It was our job to listen and respond to him appropriately. Although they may not understand the why behind the behavior, betrayed partners can gain answers that help provide clarity and make healing possible for them and the relationship. Daphne, a heartbroken partner, described her why questions as follows: What were you thinking? Was I the only one longing to share my life with you? Recovery is also very much about recognizing that much of who we ve presented ourselves to be to others, and many of the ways we ve chosen to do it, have been based on dishonesty. It is in learning how to have real closeness with others authentic intimacy that we begin to heal. To do that, we ll need to spend a bit of time understanding the early wounds that created our intimacy disordered behavior (addictions). KeyStone Center ECU understands the importance of treating individuals with co-occurring disorders and takes this into consideration when developing an individualized treatment plan. Recovery Is Possible Understanding the connections between mental health and sex addiction is crucial to developing a holistic and empathetic approach to treatment.