Though sex, gambling and food are process addictions, sex addiction can feel just like any other addiction, including substance abuse. The symptoms are similar to those who have an alcohol or drug addiction, as sex addicts often believe that their cravings are out of their control. They may return to sex, over and over again, to experience the high of it despite negative consequences. The Early Recovery Couples Empathy Model incorporates these skills to help you to become less reactive to your environment and the reality of the betrayal. You replace the fear with a constructive compassion that is reinforced using the Ford Isomorphic Path to Self-Intimacy. I know that you want to be less fearful of the unknown, and yet, you are afraid to stop looking for clues that he is acting out because you do not want to be betrayed again. The brain responds to visual sexual images in microseconds, and the chemical reactions take place instantly and automatically. Many claim that this behavior is normal or mere entertainment because of the chemical brain s power and capacity to shut out the conscience. They don t look for treatment because they feel there is no addiction. Sometimes people in 12-step recovery refer to acts that would constitute a relapse as "bottom-line behaviors". In addition to bottom lines , two other "lines" are helpful to understand. The first is what I call a border line , which is any behavior that increases the risk of relapse and therefore must be carefully monitored. At Faithful & True, we encourage truth-telling. We encourage being authentic. We work with many couples for whom there has been lying and covering up of sexual and emotional betrayal. For couples who seek to heal these hurts, we know that there needs to be a new foundation built from telling the truth the whole truth. Doing so after betrayal. Is a monumental feat. You don t need a therapist to make further demands! Your partner s struggles should not be depicted as unreasonable problems. To send either of you anywhere, wounded and alone, outside the couples session, won t get you where you want to go. Instead, your therapist would be wiser and more helpful to Help you understand that your partner s pain makes perfect sense!