Step 3: Third, we understand that our partner is not obligated to meet our need. There is freedom too, but not a requirement too. Yet, because hopefully we have established a baseline foundation in our relationship that each of our needs matter, our spouse or partner can choose to hear our need, and then check their own resources within themselves to see if they could meet that need. People With Sex Addiction Often Suffered Early Trauma The cycles of behavior exhibited by people with sex addiction are often connected to traumatic childhood experiences, particularly attachment-related trauma that continues to impair their ability to form healthy interpersonal relationships. Attachment-related trauma can include physical, sexual or emotional abuse by a parent or caregiver. I feel like a weight has been lifted and I don t have the daily mental struggle of it all. Full Transparency Everyone deserves a marriage that has full transparency. With lots of work, support, and the help of tools like Covenant Eyes, I can honestly say that long-term recovery is possible for anyone who truly wants it. Sadly no, too often, many betrayed spouses receive this message. The additional emotional burden results in further confusion and harm. Both are unnecessary and further delay the betrayal trauma recovery the couple needs. So, what does a hurting partner really need in order to heal? First, they need some clarity about the process as a whole. This replaces shameful behavior with self-nurturing and healthy attachment. Group Treatment Experience When I provided inpatient treatment for Dr. Carnes, we had stuffed animals for hugging in our hospital day room. Between the cute stuffed animals was an ugly, humpbacked dragon with only one eye. Once, as I walked past, I saw some patients kicking this creature around and calling it names. If your safety is at risk, you should not tolerate physical or sexual violence and should seek help from appropriate authorities. Common physical boundaries include: Exiting volatile situations: Remove yourself when conflicts become heated. Physical separation: Request personal space and time away to think and heal.