In the initial stages of crisis, demanding obedience might be necessary, but demanding obedience in the long term can sabotage trust rebuilding. Trust should be based on genuine care and commitment, not just following orders. Here are three important boundaries to consider for rebuilding trust in your marriage. For the next six to eight months, the addict has admitted to the problem but is in shock and disbelief. She feels angry and hopeless but ultimately relieved that she has finally admitted to having an addiction to sexual behaviors. The grief stage. In another six-month period, the sex addict goes through a type of grief. A pornography addict, for example, might upgrade to impersonal sexual encounters, and then impersonal sexual encounters may lead to illegal sexual acts, such as voyeurism and exhibitionism. The addict s objective is to continually seek gratification when the usual sources have lost their luster, so to speak. The mind and the brain work simultaneously to bring meaning to life. The mind, or spirit, is the electrical intelligence in this physical-chemical body and brain. Addiction occurs when the physical brain has taken control of the mind. The mind is the intelligent part of us that gets frustrated at losing control. The first is what I call a border line , which is any behavior that increases the risk of relapse and therefore must be carefully monitored. Borderline behavior isn t the same as a relapse but it can be the beginning of a gradual slide back to one. Finally, top lines are all forms of healthy behaviors that promote sobriety and good self-care. In fiveyear increments, he builds the story of how his sexuality developed. In the early years, many husbands have rather normal experiences of sexual experimenting which contribute to the shaping of sexual identity and development. He may also have experienced various forms of abuse or abandonment. These also effect his identity and development.