This is not the goal of therapy. There is nothing wrong with you. Your broken heart is not an indication that you are broken. You re hurt, there s a difference. Something broken can be fixed independently of who broke it. A hurt person heals amid the remorse, accountability, and responsiveness of the person who injured them. Though sex, gambling and food are process addictions, sex addiction can feel just like any other addiction, including substance abuse. The symptoms are similar to those who have an alcohol or drug addiction, as sex addicts often believe that their cravings are out of their control. They may return to sex, over and over again, to experience the high of it despite negative consequences. (I wrote a lengthy article about what it takes to heal from chronic sexual deception, because there's a lot to address.) Especially when it comes to problematic pornography use there is evidence that a 90 day period of total sexual abstinence can help some people "reboot" their brain so that continued abstinence becomes easier and they become significantly happier and more productive as time progresses. But it s much more than that. Recovery is also very much about recognizing that much of who we ve presented ourselves to be to others, and many of the ways we ve chosen to do it, have been based on dishonesty. It is in learning how to have real closeness with others authentic intimacy that we begin to heal. Without help to address the underlying causes that drive sexual addiction, sexual addicts are only able to stop acting out temporarily, and that only because of an enormous amount of willpower. Eventually willpower alone is not enough. Unable to withstand the mental obsession and physical temptations, addicts return to their addictive sexual behaviour. On a practical level, it looks like replacing sinful habits (like watching porn) with new things, like learning more about God, investing time with people, showing kindness, and using your resources to help and encourage others. However, since this is produced by the Spirit, it s not just a matter of forcing yourself to be more spiritual.