These also effect his identity and development. As he age progresses himself through his story, it becomes clearer and clearer how his sexual sin developed and progressed. Understanding these facts and the dynamic that hurt people can go on to hurt people can help a wife build empathy and can also help her to depersonalize his behaviors. My spirits were low, and this was a last-ditch effort to see if we could eliminate pornography from our lives for good. I quickly learned that I could block specific websites and receive weekly accountability emails. For the first time in a long time, I felt some aspect of peace and steadiness coming back into my life. The acting out had very little to do with the relationship or the partner. Many mental health professionals do not believe that sex addiction is a legitimate disorder. Therapists often think that the betrayed partner is the problem because they re not enough not attentive enough, not available enough, not sexual enough, not thin enough, not voluptuous enough. When I first began a journey toward recovery I intellectually understood the concept and need for surrender but found it difficult to get to the heart of true surrender. Until 1543, the accepted understanding of the universe put the Earth at the center with all other celestial bodies circling it. This thinking aligns with our instinctual tendency to see, and put, ourselves at the center of our universe. I promise you he does not know how to empathize, so he must learn the skills before it becomes natural to him. I would like to tell you that this process could take three months, but unfortunately it will be 12 to 24 months before this becomes organic. So please be patient with him and try to refrain from rejecting him for his empathy statements. Understand That Forgiveness Is Not A Thing You Give To Each Other When the offender demonstrates that he understands and is sincerely disturbed by the harm he has caused you, and when he works to make repairs, you [the hurt partner] may be more motivated to release your resentment and invite him back into your life.