Reassurance That You Have Changed, and Your Top Priority Is to Help Her Heal It will be necessary to share how you are changing and what you are working on to focus on your recovery and her healing (You do not want to be cocky or arrogant. Instead, you want to gently remind her that you will work diligently to build back her trust in you). It means confessing your struggles to another person (Hebrews 3:13, James 5:16). It could include downloading accountability software, or removing your access to forms of media that could be triggering (Matthew 5:29-30). Holiness requires an active, ongoing battle against sin (Galatians 5:16-17). Christians should not expect instant perfection but rather steady progress. Let the healing begin Healing for the betrayed partner begins with a formal disclosure process, ideally guided by certified sex addiction therapists. Betrayed partners often have difficulty making sense of their reality on their own. There are so many unanswered questions, and each question has 10 questions behind it. Recovery support can include support groups, like Sex Addicts Anonymous, recovery sponsors, accountability partners, in- or outpatient treatment programs, counselling, medical help and Internet filters. 2. Stopping rituals All addictions have rituals. Rituals can be anything from thoughts to behaviours that eventually lead to sexual acting out. The addicted person must come to a point in the active addiction process where he hurts enough to conclude that he wants his peace of mind back. He needs to want what he has lost, or what he is about to lose, more than he wants the emotionally mind-numbing and ultimately life-destroying effects of sex addiction. The Role of Masturbation in Sexual Sobriety You may be wondering how masturbation relates to the concept of sexual sobriety, especially for people without sexual partners. For some sex addicts compulsive masturbation can become a heavily reinforced behavior that is central to the addictive cycle. Masturbation almost always includes fantasy and for true sex addicts such fantasy can amplify into a downward spiral of obsession, objectification and eventually full-fledged compulsion.