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Dr Patrick Carnes' Last Lecture Part 1

The degrading and other unrealistic themes depicted in pornography create highly distorted expectations of what should occur within the context of real-life sexual relationships, thus rendering the addict incapable of arousal in those situations. This can also lead to men experiencing pornography-induced erectile dysfunction because the sexual outlets that are supposed to be acceptable and appropriate no longer elicit arousal. The disclosure of her husband s sex addiction may very well turn a woman s world upside down, but with good self-care, counseling, and faith, she will come through the experience stronger, wiser, smarter, more resilient, and in even a closer relationship with God. Can a Marriage Recover from Sex Addiction? You cannot possibly know the intensity of her feelings, but when you are able to look at what she is struggling with through her eyes, you are better able to assess what she needs. To the Partner: I recognize that the AVR formula will sound scripted and rote. I promise you he does not know how to empathize, so he must learn the skills before it becomes natural to him. Financial and technological transparency: Request access to his financial and technological accounts. Full disclosure: Consider guided therapeutic disclosure for complete honesty. Recovery support: Encourage him to seek counseling or join a support group. Check-ins and transparency: Discuss his recovery progress and triggers. B: Advice Regarding Surrender Or Getting Over Hurt On Your Own Any therapist s expectation that a hurt, betrayed partner would get over it and make recovery less messy is not helpful. Advising them to seek out another therapist alone is not helpful. Requiring them to return fixed and ready to surrender themselves to another healing process alongside their unfaithful partner is actually harmful and unfair. Pornography is the perfect brain poison. Therefore, pornography and sex addiction are extremely difficult to reverse. The major pornography addiction treatment dilemma with this drug is that it is legal and accessed in almost every home free of charge 365 days a year, 24 hours a day. Simply put, it is one click away. 

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